The Top 3 Things I Have Learned From 9 Years Of Sobriety

There are so many things I had the opportunity to learn in the 8 years of my sobriety. Some lessons learned stand out more than others.

 It took some thinking to come up with the top 3 things that I personally got the most value from. But these are things I can’t just keep to myself and wish I knew when I was first getting sober. Some of these things may seem obvious but they are things that I never realized or even thought of in the beginning. I will write more about other ones in later posts but for now, I want to share with you my top 3.

Change Your Friends And Surroundings

This is probably one of the most important things to keep in mind if you are thinking about getting sober. I never thought in a million years that who you hung out with and your environment would impact my ability to become sober.

You truly are the average of the 5 most people and ideas you hang out with. I only really realize how this ended up being a very important piece on my road to recovery looking back at it now. Hindsight is 20/20.

Lots of the friends I had that I assumed were real friends, ended up just being drinking buddies. These were never the type of people I would call if I had a problem, they were the people I called when I wanted to go out and drink. I’m not saying these were bad people by any means but we just were on different paths.

I think changing my friend group happened organically and was never something I consciously thought about. At the time it kind of hurt when the calls stopped coming in but I realized it was for the best. I was no longer a drinker and that scene wasn’t in my best interests going forward.

 I think if I knew what I know now I would tell myself to really think about the people I was hanging out with and if they were actually holding me back or pushing me forward.

What came with losing my drinking buddies was a change in my surroundings. I was no longer going to bars or drinking parties. I did try to in the beginning but it just never worked out. You notice so many things when you are sober that go unnoticed when you are drunk. None of that stuff appealed to me so I started going home earlier and earlier because of this and eventually just stopped going altogether.

I think a part of me wanted to hang onto how things used to be. I was later presented with an opportunity for another big change that would drastically change my environment. I was offered a job on a commercial crab fishing boat and everyone on the boat was sober. I was never the type of person to jump on a huge life change like this but to me, it felt like the stars were aligning so I made the commitment. I didn’t know the full weight of how changing my environment would play such a big part in my sobriety but I knew I couldn’t stay where I was. I know that was the best thing I could have done for my sobriety. It was a hard and scary choice but I don’t think 9 years of being sober would have been possible otherwise.

I know other people struggling with getting sober. They have been in and out of recovery centers for many years. The one thing I keep seeing with these people is they keep going back to the same exact place and expect different results. That is the definition of insanity. This is the never-ending cycle and in my opinion, will stay the same unless friends and environment are addressed.

Take It 1 Day At A Time

I am not going to sugarcoat this at all - getting sober is not easy. Actually, it might even be one of the hardest things you will ever do. You know how the saying goes “if it were easy everyone would do it”. The sad truth is that so many people struggle to stay sober. Getting sober is a huge change for most people, especially if you are an alcoholic. For me, drinking became my identity and it was hard to let go. When I was looking for something to do the first thing that always came to mind was to drink. “I will never drink again” think about how that sounds to a person who always has booze on the brain. Which is the large majority of alcoholics. This will seem like an enormous obstacle. That is why you will hear “take it one day at a time” in most AA groups.

Now, this may mean something different for some people but for me, it means to break down the massive task of becoming sober. Thinking of it in its entirety was pretty overwhelming for me. Being able to reframe this into small obtainable goals on a daily basis made it much simpler to digest this massive task, or so it seemed like at the start of my journey. Honestly, don’t overcomplicate this. I know we as alcoholics tend to do that. Remember that getting sober isn’t something that happens overnight. This is not to say that you won’t decide to get sober and stay on that path. Fortunately, that is what I was able to do. This will not be the case for everyone.

Is there a potential you may have a slip-up? Yes, but don’t beat yourself up about it. Think back to when you were little and you were learning to ride a bike. I am certain you didn’t just hop on and start ripping over jumps or hauling ass through bike trails. If you were anything like me you fell and you fell a lot. Did you just say “oh well I guess I will just give up and bike riding isn’t for me”? Maybe some of you did but I will wager you got right back on and kept at it. For some of you, it will take 1 time, for others 10 times. The point here is don’t give up, you owe it to yourself to keep going.

Some People Will Need AA More Than Others

Conclusion